A Coffee Date with Moe

Leave a door open for me, and I'll always be here.

It’s day 8,959 of my life,

And I’m going on a date for coffee.

Hot espresso and oat milk dance together in my cup

As the crisp, icy wind fills the streets

And chills the snow piled on the ground.

It’s a dream date for me,

The perfect idea for a good time.

Despite this, I drag myself out of the bathroom to

the bedroom then I open the closet.

Before I could search for the right color to wear,

A pile of bones came tumbling out of my closet

And laid out on my carpet.

When it happened, I didn’t react at all

Other than letting out a long, heavy sigh.

I looked down past the bags under my eyes and asked,

“What’s your names?”

One skull sprang up from the scrambled calcium pile,

And answered,

“I’m Milo. We’ve been in there awhile.”

Another skull popped up, and said,

“I’m Joey.

What made you finally let us out?”

“I’ve been waiting for you.” I said,

“Turns out I had to open the door for you.

You guys can’t meet me halfway.”

“We tried!” Shouted Milo,

“As you can see us tangled here on the floor.”

“Oh, calm down we aren’t tangled!” Joey said to his partner,

“Just get up, see?”

As Joey stood, Milo got up at his own speed.

Once they both stood, I did

The one thing I have been dreading for half of my lifetime.

I turned to my record player and placed the arm on whatever vinyl

Had already made its temporary home there, then I flipped on the switch.

As the music began to play,

I turned to the two skeletons behind me and held out both hands as I asked,

“May I have this dance?”

Together, for one solid minute, we spun and twirled

To the rhythm and harmony singing in the room,

Until I swung the front door open,

And held both pelvises as I asked,

“Will you both please leave?”

…

After a lengthy exit and finally finding my favorite blue dress,

I walked down the block to the coffeeshop.

Once I arrived, I saw him.

The demon who’s been waiting an extra 15 minutes to

Have a cup of coffee with me.

Moe never leaves.

He found a door open one day and never left again.

Now I’m stuck doing this pitiful date with him once a week.

He waved at me with a smile on his face,

But I see past his fake soft appearance.

I sat down and immediately began the date routine, which was always the same.

I ask him one question, he answers differently every time,

Then I can leave, because he says I need to, “ponder these feelings I have.”

To me, it’s just a quick chore to do in my misery.

I looked at my mug in front of me filled with steaming coffee

Just the way I like it, two sugars and cream.

While staring at my coffee

I asked him,

“What keeps you here?”

Moe answered,

“My guilty pleasures.”

Normally, this is the time I angrily get up and walk away

As Moe cackles behind me, but this time

I stayed.

I’m here for one reason alone,

To find the door he came from.

I thought I had to buy time as I searched around the coffeeshop,

Looking for any open entrance he came from,

But when I realized how many openings there are, I sprang into action instead of thinking.

There are too many options,

And no time!

I got up and grabbed a napkin dispenser as I

Ran up to every nook and cranny, and shoved napkins inside them.

As I started to stuff the perimeter, I slammed the doors I passed and turned the lock,

As I shoved napkins under the door itself.

Every patron inside the coffeeshop was staring at me,

And some baristas were yelling at me,

But Moe was silent.

He stared at me, pleading at me with his eyes to please stop.

What I’m doing, must be working!

I started to move faster,

Strategically locking doors and filling holes with paper.

I focused on this mission until I

Suddenly felt someone grab my shoulder.

Before I could react, I was lifted from the ground,

My feet dangling below me.

I looked up and saw Moe’s dark, black eyes stare back at me.

They were shining beneath the florescent lights, and his mouth

Curved into a smile as he grumbled,

“You are all of my guilty pleasures.”

Then, he grabbed my cheeks with his thumb and four fingers,

And he kissed me.

Although I didn’t want this,

Part of me was beginning to like it.

The way his tongue felt against mine made me feel like I was on fire.

It was turning into a burning passion,

Until I woke up.

It’s day 8,960 of my life,

And I’m going on a date for coffee.